267 and counting

I eat too much. I know, everyone can say that right? Especially coming off our most ravenous holiday, thanksgiving. Here is a definition I hate looking up, something I've never wanted or allowed to be applied to me:

glut·tony

 noun \ˈglət-nē, ˈglə-tə-nē\

plural glut·ton·ies

Definition of GLUTTONY

1

: excess in eating or drinking

2

: greedy or excessive indulgence

But that definition actually fits me. It fits what I or anyone else does when we over eat, especially excessively. In fact there are many areas of my life where this definition could fit, but either way, it has to effect all areas of my life as well. I can't run as fast, I'm not supposed to live as long. All because I eat too much. If I obey my flesh, walk in my flesh, what will that lead me to? Won't it lead me to death? If I continue to walk according to my fleshly lusts, I will die in them.
I must choose life in every area of my life. Think about what I am over eating. It's not lettuce, though if I put enough dressing on it, that can apply too. It is't apples, or oranges. It's candy, cake, and here's the big one, holding more american hearts than almost any food; Ice Cream. I capitalize that on purpose, but I should really cap it all; ICE CREAM. It is too important, it holds too many hearts. There's others: CHOCOLATE. COFFEE. I am sure there are thousands that we could do this too, but the point is there should be none.
"No other god's before Him." Isn't this food thing a god, with a little g? Isn't it something we exult and make way too important? I think so. But it's sad. To me it's one of the more disgusting sins. Look at the outcome, look at how it affects people. It's not glorious at all.
I am 267 pounds and counting. That is officially the heaviest I have ever been in my life. If I continue that number will go up. If I stop, and repent, turn away from this sin, and do it no more. That number will go down. If I work at it really hard, that number can even go down fast.
God has called me to a life of prayer and fasting, that's what makes this even more sad. If my life showed disobedience, it could not show it more, than with a big belly. I can't hide that baby. It's there for the whole world to see. It's not mine though, it's not the real me. It is not who God made me to be. But isn't that what happens when we exult things above the real God. It messes everything up. It alters things, makes things dark instead of light. It transforms from light to darkness, even to death. Life, to death. The exact opposite that Jesus offers us. He, through His sacrifice, brings us out of death into a glorious life, an abundant life. So I have chosen to walk this abundant life out in my flesh, and cater to it, give in to it, and alter the abundance of love, joy, peace, over into gluttony. One produces life, the other death. One brings peace, joy, love. The other lust, pain and death. What kind of a trade is that?
I choose life. I choose to live that life God, the real God, intended me to. THat life filled with the purpose of God, and not self. A live lived for HIm and not me. I choose to exult Him as God instead of me.
In Jesus name, amen.